i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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