She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
