I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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