it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
