So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
