i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize