I got her a Nickelback box set.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
