Me too!
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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