hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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