feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just gift wrapped bread.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
