My nipple is on Facebook.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
