I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
