i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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