there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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