I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
