Kareoke will never be a sober sport
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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