i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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