walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
