what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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