I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
