im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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