Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
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