i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
