So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
