If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
