i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
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