you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
