9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
