Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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