Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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