on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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