if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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