the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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