The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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