have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
