hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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