...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize