what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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