ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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