I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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