i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
