No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Im part way to drunk.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
