Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
