He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize