theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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