Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i out mim tonsoeep
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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