I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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