you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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