I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
