i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
