He asked to "fluff my boner.."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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