Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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