Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
