I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize