Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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