And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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