just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
