I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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