guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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