i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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