She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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