So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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