Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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